Stifling an urge to dance is bad for your health – it rusts your spirit and your hips.  ~Terri Guillemets

 As a teen, I craved to be a professional dancer complete with costumes, make-up, lighting, and a talented cast. My dream died when arthritis confined my joints’ movement. A wheelchair was a positive, for it allowed me to navigate the world. But, in the rigid world of dance, there was no room for my dream.

Somewhere in my spirit, dance always held a special place and was a dream I never could force myself to forget. Rather I locked it up in a safe place until it could be set free once again. In spring of 2010, I joined iDANCE community classes and every week met with a super talented choreographer/artistic director and a group of dancers who shared the same passion for dance. My dream was set free to chasse and grow.

I was honoured to be extended an invitation to join the iDANCE performance group for the Orchesis Dance Motif 2011. A professional show with lights, sound, make-up and an amazing cast of dancers whom inspired me every week. In September we began our journey of weekly meetings at The University of Alberta in a real dance studio. A studio complete with a dance floor, barres and a full length wall mirror. A mirror I played hide and seek with. Every time I glanced into the mirror, I saw the lack of extension in my fingers and the bent shape of my shoulders. Only the flaws were reflected back to me.

Weekly, new steps and concepts were introduced and each dancer was growing and adding to her or his dancer vocabulary. I found myself challenged and loving the creative process. The group would all help each other to make sure we were getting our best lines and performances. The group supported and cheered at all our achievements.

By the end of our practices, I stared into the mirror and saw a dancer, saw the lines of each movement and how to improve them rather than the negatives my arthritis had imposed on my body. I was dancing. This was a place where any differences were never a barrier but rather an area for individuality and in a world where difference can become a negative it was almost celebrated.

When we reached tech week, as we held our positions on the wooden stage for the lighting crew to find their cues, I gazed out and took in the empty seats and how far along we all had come. My body was crawling with a nervous expectation, self-imposed, that tensed the muscles and joints. My expectation was not that soon the audience would be filled with members who would potentially scrutinize every move but rather me letting down any of my fellow iDANCERs.

As our first show approached, in our dressing room backstage, we were getting our hair styled and make–up applied and charged our spirits on positive energy. I looked around and found myself smiling at all my fellow iDANCERs. We all had a dream and had all travelled this journey together. We all shared a passion. We were all dancers. Dancers no matter how we travelled the world…we were going to glide on that stage and perform.

In the darkness, we all tip-toed out onto the stage and took our places. I took a deep breath and listened as a hush fell over the audience. Excitement and adrenalin pumped through my body and attempted to settle and numb the pain that had ventured to suffocate my dream once again. On the stage, while we were all working in various partnerships or alone, we were all part of a community. I connected with the emotion of the piece and too soon the audience was completely forgotten as I focused on the steps, making sure the fingers and arms were extended and my spacing was correct. As we all stood in our final pose and waited for the slide and lights to go down, a large smile spread across my face.

The performance went by in the blink of an eye. The feeling of accomplishment sat in my body and emanated from the other dancers. Yet it was a bittersweet moment as our time together and this one dream was over…well until iDANCE community classes began again in the spring.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 30th, 2011 at 10:40 am and is filed under Dance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.